Thursday, December 29, 2005

Eye Am Getting Annoyed

Do you want to know what inconsequential detail of DC's latest mega-event has been bothering me of late? The way Geoff Johns is writing Brother Eye's dialogue in the best-selling uber-series Infinite Crisis. See, the killer satellite that controls the OMAC automatons was named Brother Eye by its creator, Batman. So Johns has been substituting the word "eye" for the first-person reference "I". For example-

Batman : For the love of mercy, Brother Eye, I created you! Stand Down!!
Brother Eye : Eye'm sorry, Father. Eye recognize your feelings of betrayal, and eye validate them. However, eye cannot stand down, as eye have much left to accomplish.
Batman (quietly sobbing) : Damn you.... damn you....

Um, my first issue is that all Brother Eye dialogue is spoken aloud, meaning there is no audible difference btween saying "eye" and "I". They sound exactly the same! It's just impossible that a listener could even tell that a visual pun was being made. Ridiculous.

But the larger issue, the bigger problem, is that, even if you accept through some serious logical gymnastic that there is, in fact, a noticable difference btween "eye" and "I", you must then come to terms with the fact that Batman programmed Brother Eye this way on purpose.

Let's explore that thought a little, shall we? At some point during the process of designing and programming a killer satellite in order to prevent some sort of super-hero motivated mass destruction or danger, Batman thought it would be cute to give Brother Eye a little vocal tic. I can imagine that this happened very late one night during the vocalization process, with Batman possibly being a little punch drunk or sleepy. I guess we're just lucky he didn't give Brother Eye a lisp or a stutter or something.

I fully realize that this is nitpicking....

or is it?

Is it possible that the Brother Eye "cutesy voice" was a subtle indication on Johns' part of the growing instability of Batman's grip on his emotions? Were these "eye-isms" the very clues that were paid off in Infinite Crisis #3 by Batman suffering a serious pout followed by a barely contained hissy fit?

No. Probably not.

Eye am not amused, Geoff Johns.

And, hey, now that I think about it, Brother Eye is nothing but an Ultron/Starro the Conquerer mash-up, which should be a lot cooler. But isn't.


Blogger kelvingreen said...

I hadn't noticed that actually, so I must be developing some kind of resistance to Geoff Johns' writing. I read InC #3, and was less annoyed at it being crap, and more sad for Johns that he's been saddled with a project he's not good enough to steer.

5:02 PM  
Anonymous Joe Louis said...

I agree 100%... I've been wondering if I was the only one who noticed this.

They also jump around with his name in the Omac Project... from Brother I to Brother Eye. For the first few issues I thought his name was Brother 1... as in roman numeral.

I also get frustrated with the incessant computer banter that runs across the pages in the Omac Project...

8:22 AM  
Blogger Jhunt said...

I stopped reading the OMAC readouts sometime during the first issue. So, I guess I hope no vital plot information is being passed along in those textlines. Hey, maybe that's why IC is leaving me cold! The real action is taking place in the OMAC displays!

(runs off to dig out his long-neglected copies of The OMAC Project, whistling a jaunty tune as he does so)

10:41 AM  
Anonymous Joe Louis said...

The brother eye junk is useless... i know because i read it all, unfortunately.

IC is leaving you cold because it's getting harder and harder to keep up with. I don't know about you, but I've never read Identity Crisis or Crisis on Infinite Earths or all of the Donna Troy comics etc.... I don't have that kind of cash.
I keep up with the main titles: batman, superman, supergirl, wonderwoman and infinite crisis, along with the various minis that come out... that's expensive enough for me.

4:51 PM  
Blogger kelvingreen said...

The problem as I/eye see it is that Geoff Johns is increasingly having trouble keeping up with InC, and he's the writer.

9:04 PM  
Blogger Jhunt said...

I bought the first issue of the Donna Troy thing, and it both confused and bored me to the point where I didn't bother picking up any of the other issues.

The logistics of this sprawling mess are too convoluted for one man to keep track of, and that's bad news for the reader and the writer.

1YL looks cool, though. Or at least some of it does, and it probably won't be necessary to pick up 50 books a month to understand it. Which is good, cause I ain't.

4:52 PM  
Blogger Avi Green said...

I'm not reading any of the Infinite Crisis connections. The miniseries it all began with, Identity Crisis, was bad enough to begin with, because it had no female perspective, and it seemed to be a political allegory to 9-11.

An interesting question though, is: when this is over, are they going to repair all the damage they did to Ralph and Sue Dibny, plus Ray Palmer and Jean Loring, Stephanie Brown, Leslie Thompkins, and a lot of other characters whom they may have damaged as well? That's something that still remains under a question mark from what I can tell.

3:58 PM  
Blogger Jhunt said...

Well Avi, I fear the 'short-n-easy' answer to your question is "No, they won't be fixing any of the damage". I feel it is far too early for DC to admit that serious mistakes may have been made in the run-up to IC.

If the 1YL stories are good, then I suppose we'll all just have to find a way to put the macabre events of the past little while behind us. I recommend using DC Showcase Presents collections to cleanse the palette.

6:14 PM  
Anonymous Basilios said...

eeIf i haven't been keeping with with all these crap miniseries I'll be lost. Is it possible to only read Infinity Crisis?? Crisis on Multiple Earths was at least self contained, this thing has how many things running off it? Its a headache! The highlight of the last issue as Aquaman kicking ass! The rest was blah, oh yeah Animalman was cool too. How can Superboy be evil? Isn't that like Superman going evil, is that possible?

I'm not sure what to think?

12:04 AM  

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